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Halloween 2012

Christmas may be just around the corner, but around here there's been a lot of talk about what Ben is going to be for Halloween next year. The list currently includes:

• The Black Power Ranger
• The Blue Power Ranger
• The Green Power Ranger
• Spiderman
• The Black Spiderman
• Batman
• Harry Potter
• Shaggy and/or Scooby-Doo

Hopefully we'll have these options narrowed down by September.

Lilah's First Month

I am finally getting around to documenting Lilah's first months. Because it seems like such an overwhelming task given that she is now nearly seven months old, I've decided to tackle it month by month. "Tackle" is the wrong word of course, as that makes it sound like some arduous task. The truth is that I am just now feeling like I might have the cognitive capacity to do justice to her early months. She is such a sweetie that I have also been somewhat reluctant to share my sweet girl with the world.  

 Lilah, the day we brought her home from the hospital (5/6/11)

As with most babies, Lilah's first month was both a blink of the eye and also what seemed like an eternity of sleepless nights. Overall adjusting to a second baby was much, MUCH easier than adjusting to one baby. Ben really rocked our worlds. We were clueless, and he wasn't much of a sleeper. He also needed much more effort to be calmed down, as in walking, and bouncing, and singing, and walking and rocking, and bouncing, etc. All of that combined led to a very exhausting first month that felt like one very long day. 

Fortunately Lilah seemed to adjust to the world a little more readily than Ben. Whether that's because we were a little more confident (though not really, because there is nothing more terrifying than a very young baby that you are completely responsible for, and I always second/triple/quadruple guess myself) or because she was just a different baby, I am not sure. Maybe we'll figure that out as she gets older and we see more of her personality emerge. Although the first month was exhausting and challenging, it was not nearly as exhausting as it was with Ben. Not having to constantly be in some sort of motion was a real energy saver. Also, Lilah and I quickly settled into a fairly nice routine that involved a cozy morning nap after Harold and Ben left for work and school followed by a leisurely stroll around the block.  Those naps were very replenishing, and being able to be out and about in the late spring air was much nicer than the very bleak January that was Ben's first month. 

 One of our first strolls

I really struggled with whether or not to keep Ben in school during my maternity leave. Ultimately we decided to keep him in school so as not to disrupt his schedule and life any more than it already had been. And, somewhat selfishly, it made my life a lot easier as I was able to get some sleep during the day. It was also wonderful to be able to give Lilah 100% of my attention. Eventually, once we got beyond the first month, I took Ben to a school a little later and picked him up a little earlier so that we were able to spend more time together. 

 Lilah with Granny (a.k.a., Mary Belle, my grandmother)

 Already giving me a look

 One of her favorite places - the bouncy seat

 Two weeks old 

Ben immediately adjusted to being a big brother. We really could not have had an easier transition with him and I am so grateful for that. Of course he had his moments of playing too aggressively or seeking some extra attention from us (mostly through crazy hyper episodes versus temper tantrums), but overall he was so happy to be a big brother that it made my adjustment to being a mom of two so much easier. I love that little guy.       

 The doting big brother

At Lilah's three week check up, things got a little more interesting when we found out that she had a heart murmur. Our pediatrician felt that it was most likely an "innocent" murmur given that Lilah was growing and eating well, but she referred us to a cardiologist just to be safe.

 Three weeks old

After an incredibly anxious week, in which I worried over every possible scenario while Harold simply took our pediatrician at face value (the difference between Moms and Dads, perhaps?), an echocardiogram was performed in the cardiologist's office and we found out that Lilah has a small ventricular septal defect (VSD), more commonly known as a hole in her heart. The hole allows for the leakage of blood between the ventricles, which is what causes the sound of the murmur. The cardiologist's first words after the echo were "We found something that isn't life threatening" (sadly, he must be used to delivering such news, and much more devastating news, to anxious parents). He explained that Lilah's VSD is very small and likely would not require surgery. Many such holes close up in the first year of life, but even if that were not the case she would have a perfectly normal life and her physical activities would most likely not be limited in any way. And if she were to have to have surgery, closing a septal defect is one of the simplest open heart surgeries that is performed (you know, keeping in mind that it is open heart surgery and all). So while this was certainly upsetting news, I was actually extremely relieved and incredibly grateful that it wasn't anything worse. It took a while to process everything (and it's taken me this long to be ready to tell the world), but ultimately it is just one more aspect of our girl that makes her even more sweet and precious to us.

We have been seeing the cardiologist regularly and as of now the hole is still there but it has gotten smaller. We are still hopeful that it will close, but if it doesn't she should still be fine, although there is a small chance that due to its location near a valve that it could cause some leakage (though to date there's been no evidence of that). The good news is that Lilah has continued to grow and thrive (in ~90th percentiles for height and weight), which is an extremely good sign because if the VSD were causing a problem it would most immediately be seen in her growth and feeding patterns. So at this point we are cautiously optimistic that she will not have to have surgery. But feel free to send any extra good wishes/prayers our way!
 

 Papa, Nana, and Lilah

 Only my Mom could get away with this 

Lilah at one month, with me and Ben

In reading back over this, I guess Lilah's first month was as stressful as Ben's was, just in a very different way. Unfortunately that continued to be the case (and more so actually) in subsequent months, as the VSD was not our last health challenge (though also, very very thankfully, non life-threatening). 

Let Me Tell You Something (About Candylandy)

"Hey Mom, let me tell you something" is how a lot of conversations begin in our house these days. Ben always has very important, breaking-news information to share. One of his favorite topics, as well as things to play, is Candyland. Or "Candylandy" as he affectionately calls it. Ben is absolutely fascinated with this game, particularly the "special cards," as these are the cards that can totally make or break the game for you. Ben now lives in a heightened state of anticipation that he may get the Gingerbread Man or the Candy Cane card at any time, although it invariably seems to happen just when one of us is about to win the game.

Ben has been pretty preoccupied with this, so much so that we can be nowhere near our house or Candylandy and he will say "Hey Mom, let me tell you something. Anybody can get the Gingerbread Man or the Candy Cane, and you don't want to get that!" or "You know what? The Gingerbread Man and the Candy Cane are in that game!" So then we have a conversation about how nobody wants to get the Gingerbread Man or Candy Cane (unless you get it in the very beginning) but that you do want to get the Ice Cream Cone or the Lollipop (which he inexplicably refers to as something that sounds like a combination of lollipop, popsicle, and bumper sticker) or even the Peanut card. He keeps track of which special cards have already been played, and the longer it takes for the Gingerbread Man or Candy Cane to make an appearance, the more excited he gets. When Harold or I get one of those cards he practically explodes with excitement, as he anticipates being able to win the game. But the really good news is that when he gets one of the bad cards he no longer falls apart in total despair and frustration. He moves his gingerbread man back to whatever square and eagerly anticipates the rest of the game, because Mom or Dad could get one of those cards and get sent back too. Anything can happen!!! 

All in all, I have to say it's pretty fun to play Candylandy with Ben. Even if we do play it five times in a row, multiple times a day, everyday.

*Edited 10/11/11 to add: Ben calls the lollipop the "liberrysocle." I don't know where he came up with this, but I don't want to correct him just yet.

Wait, what?

I have a blog? Oh yeah. That's right.

Our not so regularly scheduled programming has been interrupted by this little pumpkin:



If you look closely you can see that her bib says "Star of Mommy's Blog." Isn't that funny? Or ironic, in an Alanis Morrisette kind of way?



 And this somewhat larger pumpkin with a fractured wrist:



Ben chose a black cast because he wanted to be like the black Spiderman (the "bad" Spiderman for those not up on their Spiderman mythology) and also like Venom (his favorite bad guy in the Spiderman universe). We are not sure yet if this preference for the bad guy is a harbinger of things to come. But if he asks us for a black leather jacket I think we'll know. 


So you could say we've had a busy summer, avoiding pools and water play and giving Ben stand-up baths with a plastic bag on his arm, in addition to tending to general round-the-clock new baby duties, in combination with going back to work. (If reading that terrible run-on sentence made you tired, then you now have a little taste of my life. You're welcome.)

But the good news is that Ben is now cast-free, Lilah is a fairly easy baby, and we are settling into our new work/school/babysitter routines.

So we will be back better than ever this fall!

Edited 9/16/11 to add: Harold has informed me that the black Spiderman and Venom are in fact one and the same. I don't know how or why this is, but clearly I am the one who needs to be educated on the Spiderman Universe.

A Recent Exchange

An abbreviated version of a recent conversation held in the car on our way to meet Harold's Mom for lunch:

Ben: "Whatch you thinkin' about Dad? Whatch you thinkin' about Mom?"
(I don't in fact remember what Harold and I were thinking about at the time).
Mom: "What are you thinking about Ben?"
Ben: "I'm thinking about ice cream."
1-2 minute pause.
Ben: "It's fun to get ice cream!"

Hint taken.

Not to Be Forgotten: A Very Strong Big Boy

When I came home from the hospital after having Lilah, Ben appeared to have quadrupled in size while I was gone. It was amazing how the presence of a newborn made him look so much bigger and older. And he is older. He's a big brother now, with big brother responsibilities. (More on that later.)

Ben is quite taken now with the notion of "big boys." While he considers himself a big boy, he has not yet reached the highest category of what Ben calls the Very Strong Big Boy. We have no real definition for the Very Strong Big Boy, but some of our recent conversations have given us some hints:

"When I grow up to be like a Very Strong Big Boy, I will fly like SUPERmannn!" (I think he actually believes this is true and I am currently pondering how best to break the news to him for fear he might actually try to fly like Superman by jumping off an object of great height.)

"When I grow up to be like a Very Strong Big Boy, I can have a toy like that. Right, Mom?" This is typically said when we are at some place like Target and he sees a toy that he wants. This has actually worked out pretty well because I am not the one who has to tell him he's not getting the toy, as he has already decided he should have it when he's older. I usually agree that it would make a great toy for him at some future point in time and we move on, any possible tantrums averted.

"When I grow up to be like a Very Strong Big Boy, I can do dishes/take a bath/etc. all by myself." I am in full support of this.

"When I grow up to be like a Very Strong Big Boy I can do that." This applies to whatever we are seeing at the time, whether it's watching basketball on TV or if we see an older kid at the park performing some sort of advanced maneuver on the jungle gym.

Ben is also very much into telling us that he has "an idea." In a statement tying together nearly all of the themes above, this past Saturday morning he said "Hey Mom, I have an idea. When I grow up to be a really strong Ben, I can fly to Beckett's house and then I can fly to the Little Gym all by myself." (We had plans to go to both places that morning, so I guess he thought it was a drag that Mom and Dad had to come along too. Or only Dad, as it turned out in this case.)Or on other occasions he frequently says things like "Maybe we should go to the park. I think that's a great idea!" He usually says something like this while smiling at us and nodding his head the whole time. It's possible that he may have a future career in sales.

Although Ben is not yet a Very Strong Big Boy, he has definitely grown up quite a bit in the past few months. It is now possible for us to play the board games we gave him for Christmas without (for the most part) throwing the pieces or stomping on the board. Our current favorites are the Toy Story version of Chutes & Ladders and Candyland, though Ben refers to Candyland as the "Handy Manny" game.

We've also been playing Toy Story Uno for a few months now and that has gone surprisingly well. When we first started playing he cried every time he lost, but he is slowly learning how to be a gracious loser (this might be a 4-year-old accomplishment, although it's something that I'm personally still working on as well). And now that he has the hang of it he can beat both Harold and me fair and square, without any parental assistance.

Here are some photos from this past spring showing just how much our Very Strong Big Boy is growing up.

Post-nap silly hair, after sleeping face first on the pillow with the covers pulled over his head.
Post-nap silly face.

Ben with his first fish, caught on a fishing expedition with Papa.

Easter Egg hunt at Thomsen and Beckett's house. Note the Spiderman Easter basket. Spiderman is his current favorite superhero. Webs!

Soccer with his favorite preschool friend.

April trip to Atlantic Beach. Harold is very impressed with Ben's frisbee throwing/catching skills.

Mom and Ben

While he may be growing up into a Very Strong Boy, he still loves his old standby comfort mechanisms of sucking his thumb and pulling my hair. And I am perfectly okay with that because right now (and always) he is still my little boy.

Finally!

We are happy to announce the extremely punctual arrival (compared to her older brother!) of Miss Lilah Elise Brady, born on Wednesday, May 4, 2011 at 1:21am, only one hour and 21 minutes after her due date. She weighed 8lbs, 2 oz and was 21 inches long, which means she outweighed her big bro by 2 oz.

Me and Lilah, just a few minutes after she was born.

Lilah, with her full head of hair on display, and Dad.

Ben, when he first met Lilah. The first thing he said to her was "Tickle, tickle" and he reached out to tickle her. After that, he became obsessed with her "silly faces" and repeatedly asked her to make another silly face. He still talks about her silly faces every day. Very cute!

And just for comparison's sake here is a baby photo of Ben followed by that of Lilah.

What do you think? Do they look alike? Honestly, it is hard for me to tell - a case of not being able to see the forest for the trees, I suppose.

In honor of Lilah's arrival, I've refreshed the blog design. I was tempted by several pink-oriented designs now that I can get away with an unabashed love of pink, but decided they were a little too obnoxious. So I'll stick with what I am considering a gender-neutral blue for now.

Three Again

So here are very belated pictures from Ben's 3rd birthday party in January. Better late than never, right?

We had a joint party with Ben's best friend from school, and the love of his young life, C.

I think all the kids had a great time, but Ben did especially. He didn't stop moving for the entire party, hence his red cheeks and sweaty hair.

Ben and his little friend both picked out Toy Story cakes, because you can apparently never have too much Buzz or Woody.

We were very grateful for all the friends that came out to help Ben celebrate, and Ben was especially thankful for all his loot! We are still rationing presents, which is a good thing when your birthday falls right after Christmas.

Next up: gratuitous belly photos!

Three

As hard as it is to believe, Ben turned 3 on December 30. We celebrated by opening a few presents when he woke up.

Please excuse the mismatched pajamas. It happens sometimes and was an incredible lack of foresight on my part.

Despite the incredibly pathetic look on his face (not unlike a look he once gave me when he was only 3 months old), he did actually have a good time opening his presents.

The presents were followed by birthday pancakes. I believe Ben actually ate several bites of these pancakes, which was a record. Despite the fact that he wants to make pancakes every weekend, he rarely eats them - which has nothing at all to do with the quality of my pancakes, I am sure.

After the pancakes, we took a very exciting trip to the train station where we picked up my parents who had taken the train from High Point to Raleigh for their own big city adventure.

We had a very busy afternoon, with lunch at the Pit followed by stops at the history museum and the natural science museum. After that we all needed naps so we reconvened for dinner that evening and then went back to my parents' hotel room for a little bit.

Ben was quite taken with a rather old-fashioned piece of technology he found in their room.

We topped the evening off with birthday cupcakes. And as is often the case with Ben and cupcakes, he did not eat a single bite, despite the fact that he'd been talking about his birthday cupcakes all day long. Thanks to the various holiday parties and birthday celebrations at his school, Ben strongly feels that cupcakes should be present at any kind of gathering that might be construed as a "party," however loosely defined. Cupcakes are required for everyone's birthday, even Mortimer's. And yet, he never eats the cupcakes. Cupcakes, pancakes...there seems to be a theme.

But he did blow out his 3rd birthday candle, and that was the most important thing.

Happy 3rd Birthday Ben! You are such an adorable little guy and your Dad and I are so lucky to have you in our lives. You make me and your Dad so "berry berry" proud every day. You are already such a little caretaker and I can't wait to see how your personality and spirit continue to develop as we embark upon another exciting year together. As your friend Buzz would say, to infinity and beyond!

A Purple Present

When we asked Ben what he wanted Santa to bring him this year he said, very confidently, "A purple present." Hmm. So I inquired as to the desired contents of this purple present and found that they included crayons, pencils, and a hippopotamus. The first two were pretty easy, and somewhat surprising, since we currently have a house full of broken crayons (with all the paper peeled off, as peeling this paper seems to be Ben's primary interest in crayons at the moment), and pencils. For that matter, we actually have a plastic hippopoatmus, a PURPLE hippopotamus no less. But Ben's list of purple present contents did not change, regardless of how many times I asked him.

He did however, have some other ideas when he made his Christmas wish list at school.

Once again, we actually already had all of the items on this list, even the carpet. Anyhow, when Christmas morning rolled around, some purple presents were waiting for Ben under the tree.

Inside his purple presents Ben found crayons, pencils, and markers, as well as a toy hippopotamus that walks, and of course everyone's favorite classic, Hungry Hungry Hippo. Hungry Hungry Hippo was actually a big hit and we played lots of games over the next few snowy days.

Ben was a great present-opener this year. He said "Oh wow, look at this!" almost every time he opened something. But of course, the more presents he opened the less he cared what was in each present and the more he cared about opening the next one. At Harold's parents' house on Christmas Day he kept following Harold's Mom around saying "Is that present for me, Grammy? Is that one mines?" It was very cute, but it has the potential to become highly obnoxious as he gets older. We will definitely have to keep an eye on that! But right now he is still a sweet little boy who is thrilled to help anyone open any present, just for the sheer excitement of it.